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Friday
OK, it's been a while. Just been getting on with it i guess. By the time i get home from work the last thing i want to do is talk about work, or type about it, so nothing has been added for a week or so now.
In fact when i get home from work at the moment I've been enjoying working on my main interest - i make skateboard videos. Also i just got a nice new 320gb external firewire drive so i can finally pump all the hours and hours of rushes i have into it. There are about 50 tapes full of skateboarding waiting to be viewed and sorted so i have a big backlog to clear. I've got to make a trailer so i can get on with that too! More on that when it's done and online...
Yesterday a well know British male porn actor came into the office to say hello and show us pictures of his broken penis. No that's not a typo. He didn't show us the real thing thankfully, that would be a bit much, even for us. Apparently he was filming a scene where he was fucking (i can't think of a nicer way of putting it, sorry!) this girl from behind really, really hard. On one thrust he pulled out too far and it slipped out so when he thrust forward again it glanced off the "entrance" and was crushed against her backbone (I'm not sure i can spell 'coxics' and the spell-check on my laptop isn't helping, although it did just correct 'spellcheck', ha ha! That second time i typed it has that annoying red dotted line under it - I'm not changing it now, welcome to "give-a-shit night").
Anyway, our poor stud's rock-hard cock was bent completely in half (and as all men will know, that's not really possible) and he says it went blue and swelled up to 3 times it's normal girth almost instantly. We all know the penis has no bone to break (i only know 'cos i watched 'Anatomy For Beginners' on Channel 4 last night and that guy who looks like Freddy Krueger dissected a penis belonging to some stinky looking cadaver) but if you've ever felt one when it's hard (yes, your own one counts) then you'll know that it might as well be a bone. Mine gets particularly hard and sometimes after sex it becomes so stiff it almost turns to stone, so i have to get up during the night and run it under the tap to try and make it go down. Viagra is like my worst nightmare. Did you really want to know that? Don't you wish you could rewind time and skip this paragraph?
So, the porn star in question is out of the game for a little while, get well soon mate! Maybe he'll spend his time visiting some of our glorious national monuments and museums, furthering his knowledge and bettering his appreciation of fine art?
Oh and briefly, a member of our staff was caught wanking by the Parcel Force driver today but that's another story.
Today's moral is - be careful what you do with it.
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To date 4 Comment(s)
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Ratface
(29.1.05 23:19)
Who caught your work mate wanking by the Parcel Force driver?
And no, I really do not want to read about your cock.
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(22.2.05 03:29)
made my eyes water .......ouchy...I don't have one,but thats gotta hurt!!!
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(5.3.05 01:37)
Owie. I don't even want to think about it. I do know the pain we feel when you guys miss the mark during those..uh..passionate (is it really passionate when doing porn?!) interludes. I can only imagine if a guy bent it in half..*cringing at the thought* Well, good luck to the guy, may his..uh..source of income repair itself and return to the job of entertainment...
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